Hello! I feel the same way. My last friend is moving away in September, and it's really hard to deal with. I'm turning 29 this year, I've got a husband, we bought a flat, and we're planning to settle here for the long run. I’m also thinking about having a baby this year or next, and I’m hoping that becoming a mom will help me connect with other new moms who are in a similar place in life.🥲
It's so tough isn't it, I totally feel you!! seems like many people go through this in their late twenties and for some reason I did not have this on my radar at all, I thought everyone would stick around for a bit longer🥲 I also thought this, it seems like a lot of people bond with other parents once they have kids, which feels reassuring in a way...
Thank you for a great piece. I think this is something that sooo many of us struggle with. I’ve heard great things about running clubs, so please keep us posted. 🥰
I’ve made new friends from group therapy (great way to bond fast😆) and by taking a rescue dog from a dog shelter. Also just intiving new acquaintances to a dinner was a success.
”I’d love to meet people who are also in long-term relationships and thinking about having kids in the next few years. It’s just nice to have friends who are navigating the same things in life.”
This part made me a bit sad, as many of my friends have partners and kids. I’d love to still be a part of their inner circles, even if my life is not like theirs. Yet, what you wrote is very tanginle.<3
I will do!! the group therapy part made me chuckle, but at least they already know A LOT about you😅😮💨 I've invited some people over for dinner, let's see 👀 the last part is just a nice add on as I don't have many friends that want kids, but the other two are more important to me and I'd never reject a good connection because of this💫
These sound like great ideas. I think a huge thing about making new friends is in the ‘actually’ trying. It’s hard, but sometimes a little bit of bravery can go a long way. I was complacent for a while and it felt so good once I actually put myself out there. Good luck ❤️
Hey Johanna. I've just posted in your other diary note #5 and also on your most recent YT video.
We are tho at different ends of the spectrum as my wife and I have older kids who have recently flown the nest - eldest is travelling in south america, and youngest is at university. We do tho both love London, work in the city in digital marketing, and are making the most of this amazing city!
Cheers :)
Ps. have you tried the Meet Up app and website? They have groups for all kinds of interests.
Hey Johanna, I really love your writing style and honesty! I wanted to pop in here for a comment as I'm one of the people that actually finds making friends even in my 30s much easier than dating lol so maybe I can provide some ideas. Last year I had moved to Australia and even If at the end I stayed only 6 months I had planned to stay longer and the way in which I made some awesome friends has been : joining a walk club ( less daunting that run clubs lol) and it was the best thing, I'm sure there are some in London as well as the point was to walk early morning and grab a drink at the end so there was time to chat and bond, I also went regularly to a yoga studio where I feel the community aspect is stronger than a gym and I actually voluntereed there once a week and met awesome people and I also reached out to some girls I found inspiring and like-minded on IG and went for a coffee chat and that was very helpful as well. Something I also find comforting in friendships is also than you may have different friends for different activities/needs, one friend doesn't have to fullfill it all and that's liberating, I have friends I like to go hiking and others to a museum for example. Hope it gives extra ideas! xx
i hear ya, making new friends as an adult can be challenging. i live in a small rural town with less people (as opposed to the big cities like london), and not as many venues or cultural activities. over time, i have learned to appreciate my own company and i find that places like youtube and even substack have been great places to connect with others --- not live friendships, of course, but connections nonetheless (i.e. ppl of like mind and such).
from watching your vids on youtube, you strike me as one who is fun and easy to get along with. i think it's inevitable that you will form friendships over time. i like your plan, too. the pottery class!!! omg: FUNNNNN.
thank youuuu, I totally agree, having a community on substack and youtube has helped me so much!! I feel like big cities can be so lonely but totally hear you, at least there are more opportunities to meet people! oooo I know I'm excited to start pottery 😊
Keep us posted on how this goes for you! It’s so hard to lose our close circle, I’m right there with you feels like it keeps shrinking 👀 I’m also looking into local clubs and such but it intimating for sure, worth a try though!
That is such a good point! I’ve been on both ends of that, the one leaving and the one being left. It’s hard both ways truly, there’s not really a good way to prepare for that big of a change! It is so hard 🥲 I love that you are putting yourself out there, it can be so hard to do but I bet it will be worth it and that your people are right around the corner 🫶🏼
Completely agree on the convenience aspect, little and often I think is key to building up new adult friendships! When I moved to a new area 18 months ago joining a book club was key - it then spiralled off into other social events so really just a group of likeminded people wanting connections! I think key is saying yes to invitations to allow that groundwork to be built with new people, despite sometimes feeling like you’d rather stay in/spend time with your partner. Good luck!!!!
thank you!! it's not easy but I've got to put myself out theree😮💨 yeah totally agree, I need to find a book club in east london, I looked at a few but they were down south which kinda defeats the purpose :(
Yes you want something as close proximity as possible! I initially couldn’t find a book club near me so posted on local facebook groups (scary) and a few other girls reached out so we started our own which then snowballed! So that’s a potentially option too if it seems like one doesn’t currently exist which ticks all your boxes!
Hi Johanna, I'm 27 years old and two years ago I moved to Madrid, a big city (I came from a pretty rural area in Spain).
I've been finding it difficult to make friends in a big city, especially because I feel like I get along with everyone but I'm not that special to them... so they only invite me to plans once in a while when they don't have other option... everyone is too busy or already have meaningful friends...
I know this is kind of depressing, but also a relief because I feel like I have gotten to know myself and my priorities so much these days, and I algo know that eventually I will find a small group of friends who enjoy doing the same.
You might like this podcast chapter: The Secret to Making Friends in Adulthood (The Happiness Lab)
Hi there, thank you for sharing this - it can be tough trying to compete with longterm friendships for sure, we just need to find people who are in the same boat!! but easier said than done😮💨 thank you for the podcast rec, I have downloaded and will listen to this on my lunch stomp :)
hi there, I'm glad you enjoy my videos!!😊 the third point is more of a nice to have/add on as I don't have many friends that want children, but there are other things that are more important to me and I'd never reject a person or connection because of this 💫
Hello! I feel the same way. My last friend is moving away in September, and it's really hard to deal with. I'm turning 29 this year, I've got a husband, we bought a flat, and we're planning to settle here for the long run. I’m also thinking about having a baby this year or next, and I’m hoping that becoming a mom will help me connect with other new moms who are in a similar place in life.🥲
It's so tough isn't it, I totally feel you!! seems like many people go through this in their late twenties and for some reason I did not have this on my radar at all, I thought everyone would stick around for a bit longer🥲 I also thought this, it seems like a lot of people bond with other parents once they have kids, which feels reassuring in a way...
Thank you for a great piece. I think this is something that sooo many of us struggle with. I’ve heard great things about running clubs, so please keep us posted. 🥰
I’ve made new friends from group therapy (great way to bond fast😆) and by taking a rescue dog from a dog shelter. Also just intiving new acquaintances to a dinner was a success.
”I’d love to meet people who are also in long-term relationships and thinking about having kids in the next few years. It’s just nice to have friends who are navigating the same things in life.”
This part made me a bit sad, as many of my friends have partners and kids. I’d love to still be a part of their inner circles, even if my life is not like theirs. Yet, what you wrote is very tanginle.<3
I will do!! the group therapy part made me chuckle, but at least they already know A LOT about you😅😮💨 I've invited some people over for dinner, let's see 👀 the last part is just a nice add on as I don't have many friends that want kids, but the other two are more important to me and I'd never reject a good connection because of this💫
These sound like great ideas. I think a huge thing about making new friends is in the ‘actually’ trying. It’s hard, but sometimes a little bit of bravery can go a long way. I was complacent for a while and it felt so good once I actually put myself out there. Good luck ❤️
Hey Johanna. I've just posted in your other diary note #5 and also on your most recent YT video.
We are tho at different ends of the spectrum as my wife and I have older kids who have recently flown the nest - eldest is travelling in south america, and youngest is at university. We do tho both love London, work in the city in digital marketing, and are making the most of this amazing city!
Cheers :)
Ps. have you tried the Meet Up app and website? They have groups for all kinds of interests.
Pps. have you been up to the Sky Garden?
Hey Johanna, I really love your writing style and honesty! I wanted to pop in here for a comment as I'm one of the people that actually finds making friends even in my 30s much easier than dating lol so maybe I can provide some ideas. Last year I had moved to Australia and even If at the end I stayed only 6 months I had planned to stay longer and the way in which I made some awesome friends has been : joining a walk club ( less daunting that run clubs lol) and it was the best thing, I'm sure there are some in London as well as the point was to walk early morning and grab a drink at the end so there was time to chat and bond, I also went regularly to a yoga studio where I feel the community aspect is stronger than a gym and I actually voluntereed there once a week and met awesome people and I also reached out to some girls I found inspiring and like-minded on IG and went for a coffee chat and that was very helpful as well. Something I also find comforting in friendships is also than you may have different friends for different activities/needs, one friend doesn't have to fullfill it all and that's liberating, I have friends I like to go hiking and others to a museum for example. Hope it gives extra ideas! xx
i hear ya, making new friends as an adult can be challenging. i live in a small rural town with less people (as opposed to the big cities like london), and not as many venues or cultural activities. over time, i have learned to appreciate my own company and i find that places like youtube and even substack have been great places to connect with others --- not live friendships, of course, but connections nonetheless (i.e. ppl of like mind and such).
from watching your vids on youtube, you strike me as one who is fun and easy to get along with. i think it's inevitable that you will form friendships over time. i like your plan, too. the pottery class!!! omg: FUNNNNN.
thank youuuu, I totally agree, having a community on substack and youtube has helped me so much!! I feel like big cities can be so lonely but totally hear you, at least there are more opportunities to meet people! oooo I know I'm excited to start pottery 😊
Keep us posted on how this goes for you! It’s so hard to lose our close circle, I’m right there with you feels like it keeps shrinking 👀 I’m also looking into local clubs and such but it intimating for sure, worth a try though!
I will do!! sooo scary and honestly something I didn't have on my radar until everyone starting leaving and I was like oh hold onnn😅🫠
That is such a good point! I’ve been on both ends of that, the one leaving and the one being left. It’s hard both ways truly, there’s not really a good way to prepare for that big of a change! It is so hard 🥲 I love that you are putting yourself out there, it can be so hard to do but I bet it will be worth it and that your people are right around the corner 🫶🏼
Completely agree on the convenience aspect, little and often I think is key to building up new adult friendships! When I moved to a new area 18 months ago joining a book club was key - it then spiralled off into other social events so really just a group of likeminded people wanting connections! I think key is saying yes to invitations to allow that groundwork to be built with new people, despite sometimes feeling like you’d rather stay in/spend time with your partner. Good luck!!!!
thank you!! it's not easy but I've got to put myself out theree😮💨 yeah totally agree, I need to find a book club in east london, I looked at a few but they were down south which kinda defeats the purpose :(
Yes you want something as close proximity as possible! I initially couldn’t find a book club near me so posted on local facebook groups (scary) and a few other girls reached out so we started our own which then snowballed! So that’s a potentially option too if it seems like one doesn’t currently exist which ticks all your boxes!
Hi Johanna, I'm 27 years old and two years ago I moved to Madrid, a big city (I came from a pretty rural area in Spain).
I've been finding it difficult to make friends in a big city, especially because I feel like I get along with everyone but I'm not that special to them... so they only invite me to plans once in a while when they don't have other option... everyone is too busy or already have meaningful friends...
I know this is kind of depressing, but also a relief because I feel like I have gotten to know myself and my priorities so much these days, and I algo know that eventually I will find a small group of friends who enjoy doing the same.
You might like this podcast chapter: The Secret to Making Friends in Adulthood (The Happiness Lab)
https://open.spotify.com/episode/1TuyJuql8YDKqie6VkY59Q?si=k3BxwDeNR4KZWbhgKJj38g
Hi there, thank you for sharing this - it can be tough trying to compete with longterm friendships for sure, we just need to find people who are in the same boat!! but easier said than done😮💨 thank you for the podcast rec, I have downloaded and will listen to this on my lunch stomp :)
hi there, I'm glad you enjoy my videos!!😊 the third point is more of a nice to have/add on as I don't have many friends that want children, but there are other things that are more important to me and I'd never reject a person or connection because of this 💫