#5: All my friends are moving away

On navigating long-distance friendships and making a home in a city where most don’t stay.

I don’t know if it’s just being in my late 20s or living in London, but somehow, all my friends are moving away.

Art by Sara Hagale (shagey_)

Don’t get me wrong, London is one of my favourite cities in the world and has been my home for the last five years. But it’s expensive, intense, and has a way of swallowing you whole - especially when you’re already feeling a bit vulnerable.

I always joke that London isn’t for the faint of heart whenever friends abroad or family point out the prices or the constant rush (everyone seems to be obsessed with speed walking, myself included).

But I do love it here - I’ve worked hard to make this city my home.

And it’s not just London, it’s also my age - I’m 29 and about to enter a new decade. If you’ve reached this stage of life, maybe you’ve noticed it too: everyone is being pulled in different directions, and it feels like the friendships we carefully built throughout our 20s are suddenly at risk of drifting apart.

For me, it’s been a mix of reasons. Some of my European friends are leaving the UK to move back home. One gave up on London’s very rough dating scene and is trying to find a partner in her hometown. Another wants to be closer to her twin sister, who just had a baby. And I get it. Every reason makes sense, and I want the best for them.

But I’m still here (for now).

My partner and I just bought a flat in London - after nearly a decade of saving - and we feel so lucky to have been able to do it. With the highest average house prices in the UK, many of our friends can't afford to stay, and that's why our social circle feels like it's slowly drifting farther from London. We’re still happy here, but it's hard to watch the city we love feel a little emptier without the people who have made it our home.

I’m also not great at long-distance friendships. I’m a terrible texter, and for me, so much of what makes a friendship meaningful is the in-person quality time. I worry about how I’ll maintain those connections when they’re scattered across cities, countries, or even continents.

At the same time, I’m starting to wonder: is it worth trying to build new relationships here? What if the new people I meet leave too? London isn’t exactly known for being a place where people settle.

I’ve recently met someone at a party that I got on with really well but caught myself thinking, “I like you, we get on well... but will you still be here in a year? Two years?” It feels almost safer not to invest too much, not to get my heart broken again when someone I’ve grown close to inevitably moves on to their next chapter. Sounds a little dramatic I know, but sometimes the end of a friendship hurts just as much as the end of a romantic relationship.

A part of me has even wondered if I should be the one to leave. Should my partner and I trade London for a smaller, steadier town - somewhere like Liverpool (where my boyfriend is from), where people seem more rooted? But I also know that moving isn’t a cure-all. Change is inevitable no matter where you go.

Maybe the answer is seeking out people who, like me, plan to stay put, people who are in a similar season of life. But that’s easier said than done. Building new relationships is hard enough as an adult, and it feels even harder when you’re working with an unspoken “no-go” list, like only wanting to connect with people who are likely to stick around.

I don’t have an answer to any of this yet. But I wanted to write about it because it’s been on my mind constantly, and maybe you can relate. Maybe you’re in this stage too, where everything feels a little unstable, and you’re not sure how to find your footing.

If you’ve been through it, I’d love to know: how do you navigate friendships when life pulls everyone in different directions?

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Things I’m reading ☕️

• “The more time we spend alone, the more social skills decay, which in turn makes hanging out with others less rewarding”

• We romanticise monetising our hobbies - the complicated reality of doing what you love

• 11 books that are the antidote to toxic girlboss hustle culture

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Things I’m loving at the minute 🌝

• This vegan protein powder in vanilla, best one I’ve tried so far!

• La Roche Posay Cicaplast B5 Gel is saving my dry skin this winter

• This very nice posh soap to exfoliate, doesn’t try my skin out and smells divine

• My house shoes - I’ve had these UGG slippers for over 3 years now and I wear them all day every day

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Things I’m watching/listening to 📺

Recently, I realised that I had been exclusively listening to self-improvement podcasts, always seeking content that would help me grow or enhance my productivity - often while I was working to maximise multitasking (urgghh).

However, as I aim to make 2025 the year I heal my nervous system, I’ve decided to take a break from those productivity-driven podcasts. Instead, I’ve been exploring comfort podcasts, and one that I’ve truly enjoyed is Beautiful Anonymous.

In this podcast, people call in anonymously to share any story on their heart, and the host is committed (or forced?👀) to listening without hanging up, but the caller can choose to end the conversation whenever they like. Very refreshing and entertaining!

Spotify & Apple

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Thank you for reading, love ya x