#4: Solitude: the secret to my sanity
The joy of saying no: what I learned from a solo weekend (aka an introverts dream)
One weekend in December, I told everyone I was busy running errands. What I really meant was: I’m busy being alone.
It sounds silly now, but as an introvert living in London, carving out time for myself makes me feel so guilty sometimes. Life in this city moves fast - weekends are blocked out months in advance with brunches, birthdays, and social obligations I barely remember agreeing to.
I love it, but when I don’t take time to pause, I get anxious, manic, and, honestly, insufferable (my poor partner deserves a medal for putting up with me when I’m in that state).
After one of those all-too-familiar spirals recently, I realised I needed a reset. Not just an hour here or there, but a proper break. So, I blocked my weekend - no plans, no distractions - just me.
And it was exactly what I needed.
The perfect introvert day
I thought about what my dream day alone would look like, and it turned out to be surprisingly simple. I woke up on Saturday to a rare London miracle: sunshine.
I stayed in bed with my coffee and my book. After a while, I wandered out to pick up my favourite cinnamon roll (bakery is called Beaten by a Whisker for my London gals). And then, because the day felt too beautiful to stay indoors, I headed to the nearest green space.
Living in London, I don’t spend nearly enough time in nature (although I do touch some grass every now and then to deal with corporate life lol). But that morning, I made a point of it. I walked for hours, breathing in the crisp air and letting my thoughts settle. Eventually, I found a big, old tree and pulled out my journal.
With a cinnamon roll in one hand and my pen in the other, I wrote everything I’d been holding inside: the overthinking, the to-do lists that seemed to multiply overnight. I let it all spill out.
And as I sat there, I felt something I hadn’t felt in weeks: peace.
Why solitude is essential
That solo day recharged me, calmed me, and made me feel like myself again. But it also got me thinking: why do I so often ignore the part of me that craves this kind of quiet?
As an introvert, I’ve always loved "boring" things: reading, crochet, baking, painting - anything slow and soothing. These are the activities that fill my cup, but in the hustle of daily life, they’re often the first things I neglect. Instead, I’ll say yes to plans I don’t have the energy for, or I’ll push myself to keep going when what I really need is to stop.
The older I get, though, the more I’m learning to listen to myself. To recognise when my body and mind are saying, "Take a break." And to give myself permission to do just that, guilt-free.
Because here’s the thing: when I honour my need for solitude, I’m not just doing myself a favour. I’m also showing up better for the people I love.
Take yourself on a solo date
That weekend was a reminder of something so simple, yet so easy to forget: time alone isn’t selfish. It’s self-care. It’s essential. And it’s worth prioritising, even if you have to put "busy" on your calendar to make it happen.
So, here’s my nudge to you, especially if you’ve been feeling frazzled lately: take yourself on a solo date. Block a day, or even just an afternoon, and do all the things that make you feel good. Wake up slowly. Read your favourite book. Go somewhere green. Find a tree, sit down, and let yourself just be.
Whatever it looks like for you, give yourself the gift of your own company.
Because when the world feels too loud and life feels too fast, sometimes the best thing you can do is pause, breathe, and remind yourself that it’s okay to need a little solitude. In fact, it’s more than okay. It’s necessary.
Cheers to quiet mornings, big trees, and taking breaks - one solo date at a time.
also in case you haven’t seen it yet, I filmed that beautiful solo day hehe:
Things I’m reading ☕️
I knew one day I’d have to watch powerful men burn the world down – I just didn’t expect them to be such losers
I’m a hopeless people pleaser. I tried saying ‘no’ for a week (mood)
“Protecting your peace” can kill your friendships - I think about this a lot
Books 📚
I’m still finishing up Naomi Klein’s Doppelganger (on the final 50 pages now, whoo) and I have a few books on my wishlist, including Little Labours by Rivka Galchen and Butter by Asako Yuzuki. Please let me know if you have any recommendations!!
Things I’m loving at the minute 🌝
This comfy H&M pyjama - so soft and gorg, I’m gonna get more colours
My heated blanket is making sure I survive this British winter
Got these Astrid & Miyu earrings for Christmas and have not taken them off!
LOVE Etsy at the minute and have lots of bits on my wishlist, obsessed with these cutie danish ceramics and these pillows
Things I’m watching/listening to 📺
Like the rest of the UK, I’m currently watching Traitors. I also love listening to Hannah Townsend’s podcast Talk Of The Townsends discussing all things Traitors if you want to get more into it (which I do).
I also started a new TV show called Shrinking, a comedy/drama series with Jason Segel and been loving it, highly recommend!!
Thank you for reading, love ya x