#8: I'm getting better at phone calls
I'm almost 30 years old and finally getting the hang of phone calls, lol
Ordering pizza with friends, who's gonna call? Not me.
I'm a pretty anxious person and have always dreaded phone calls, so much so that I literally had to drop out of an internship for a radio station because it required making so many phone calls that for some reason made me deeply uncomfortable.
I have since learned that there's a word for this: Telephobia (anxiety around phone conversations). Apparently, many people experience it, often because they worry about not knowing the answer to a question or sounding silly.
Why do phone calls feel so intimidating?
It seems to somewhat be a generational thing: a recent survey found that one in four people aged 18 to 34 never answer phone calls. Instead, they choose to ignore the ringing, respond via text, or look up the number online if they don’t recognise it.
The survey of 2,000 people also revealed that nearly 70% of adults in this age group prefer texting over calling.
My parents love to make phone calls. Boomers at work love to make phone calls that 100% could’ve been an email. But I grew up with texting. Getting a phone call makes me anxious because I assume something bad has happened. It’s like an immediate surge of dread—why didn’t they just text? Is it urgent? Is something wrong?
This reaction isn’t uncommon. Many people associate unexpected phone calls with bad news, simply because we’re so used to digital communication that allows for preparation and control. The immediacy of a call removes that buffer, making it feel intrusive or even threatening.
Why talking on the phone feels like a social minefield
Talking on the phone feels overwhelming to me because it relies solely on voice—no body language, facial expressions, or eye contact to provide context (I think this is the reason why I’m usually fine with Zoom calls).
As someone who's hyperaware of social cues, the lack of visual signals makes communication on a phone call feel uncertain and stressful. Without these cues, I tend to overanalyse tone, pauses, and the flow of the conversation, making me worry that I might say something wrong or be misunderstood.
I naturally prefer text messages or voice memos because they give me time to think about my responses. There's no pressure to react immediately, which removes the anxiety that comes with real-time interaction (can you tell I’m an overthinker lol).
Not going to lie, admitting that I’m scared of phone calls makes me feel a bit silly. But it’s something I’ve struggled with, especially in my early 20s.
Does phone anxiety get better with age?
BUT I'm nearing a new decade, and I'm slowly feeling that fear fade.
I called my GP with no issues this week, rescheduled my laser hair removal appointment, and even called a restaurant to make a reservation (old me would NEVER!! if there was no online booking, I simply wasn’t going).
So, a pretty successful week if you ask me.
I even talked to one of my long-distance friends on the phone, which is something I have never done, despite living "abroad", or at least not in Germany, since 2018.
I read that as we age, our bodies produce less adrenaline, which means the intense fears we may have experienced in our younger years start to fade. And I really do feel like life gets less scary as I age—starting with phone calls!
Starting this Thursday, I’ll be sending out a 20 things I’ve enjoyed or fed my brain in a way type post (inspired by Haley Nahman, but I’m still thinking about a name for this) every second Thursday - so expect this in your inbox every two weeks! I’ll be sharing books, articles, podcasts, movies, TV shows, products, and anything else I’ve enjoyed and want to shout about.
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