Finding joy, rest, and calm in every season

I wrote a whole piece about how much I hate summer…and then changed my mind.

I originally drafted this piece in the middle of a heatwave, sweating in my top-floor london flat that had turned into an oven (we did eventually cave and bought a small air con unit, but still).

At the time, I was furious at summer and everything about it felt exhausting.

Looking back, though, I think it wasn’t really the temperature that got to me, it was more the social performance of it: always feeling like you have to say yes, always expected to be somewhere, and constantly walking past groups of people having the time of their lives while you’d much rather be rotting at home alone. The heat was just the final nail in the coffin.

But what I wrote was literally in the heat of the moment, and I'm currently reading Wintering by Katherine May, and now I see things a little differently. The book is about learning how to move through the colder months with grace, to find meaning and even joy when life slows down. And it’s made me realise that I should approach each season, including summer, with more intention.

My original beef with summer

Let’s get straight into it: summer expects energy, and I rarely have enough to spare.

The season isn’t made for introverts. I’ve accepted that nine times out of ten I’d rather be at home alone (lol), but sometimes I still wonder if it’s strange to choose a book on the sofa over a rooftop party with 14 acquaintances.

I’m also in my late 20s/early 30s, and my friend group has naturally gotten smaller as people move in different directions, and summer can feel like a loud reminder of how many friends everyone seems to have (except you lol).

Living in a big city like London doesn’t help either - I wouldn’t wish being trapped in someone’s armpit on the central line during a heatwave on my worst enemy.

But here’s the thing - and why I regret writing such a negative piece in the first place - I don’t hate summer, not really. It used to be my favourite season when I was younger, and I can’t deny the mood boost the sun gives you. I’m also genuinely happiest when I’m on holiday, which usually happens in summer.

some blurry film pics from my summer holiday in spain

A change in seasons and mindset

The start of autumn honestly felt like a deep exhale. I love the cooler temperatures, it’s still sunny out, and I can’t wait for the leaves to turn.

Even the city feels different; it slows down just enough to feel human again. Unlike summer, there’s no pressure to be constantly on. You can simply exist and feel content doing so.

But I think it’s time for a mindset shift when it comes to my relationship with summer. Katherine May writes about approaching the colder months with intention and embracing them as a season of rest rather than something to endure. Autumn and winter already feel like home to me, but summer is where I need the practice. Things like reading in the park or going for a swim at Hampstead Heath (if I can actually snag a booking) are small joys that remind me that summer doesn’t have to be exhausting.

Each season offers something different: moments to be social, moments to rest, moments to slow down. The point isn’t to love them all equally, but to move through them with a little more awareness and care.

A little more intention

It’s okay to love some seasons more than others. It’s okay to draft a whole piece about how much you hate summer (and then decide not to post it), and it’s okay to embrace autumn like a warm, welcome hug.

Seasons can stretch us in different ways, but that’s not a bad thing. It’s just life moving, shifting, inviting us to move with it.

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